More and more stupid, directionless people are turning to the nebulous, feel-good teachings of new age “philosophy.” Get in on this multi-billion dollar industry by doing what hundreds of others are doing: Teach a New Age class! Today there’s a serious shortage of teachers to fill the increasing demand for “knowledge”! And the best part is, absolutely no experience – or knowledge is necessary!
In this intensive one-day workshop, you’ll learn such vague and/or meaningless words and phrases a “quickening process,” “mind’s eye,” and “guided imagery.”
PLUS YOU’LL LEARN HOW TO:
- Randomly add prefixes (“meta-,” “trans-,” “inter-“) to any number of words to make them sund more meta-impresive
- Hyphenate words to make up your own personalized drivel (“trance-channeling,” “aura-synthetisation”, “cosmic-dymensional”, “self-harmonisation”.
- Use Buddhist, Hindu, Native American, or other exotic sounding words (“Toltec,” Mantra.” “”Tantric,” “Mandala”) to add ancient sounding wisdom and legitimacy to whatever you say
You’ll come away with the tools you need to make a fortune in one of today’s hottest industries, simply by further confusing people who are already confused to begin with! And the beauty is,they’ll think they understand every word of what you say! ]]
Dawnea Bas experienced her first transformational conscious evolution at age 26 and went on to achieve the 7 chakras of meditation before traveling to Sedona, Arizona, to become a renowned metaphysical intuitive counsellor who specializes in psycho-spiritual rhythmic crystal therapy, She is the author of Angels and Dolphins: Cosmic Balance in Altered InnerShadow Life Magnetism.
Course 946 East End
sec. A Sun. Dec. 11 10am-6pm
sec. B Sat. Dec. 17 11am-7pm
Course fee 539 I Members Course fee 534
One should not really dissect a joke. If you don’t get it, if you don’t find this funny, then maybe you have never been exposed to New Age Psychobabble.
But if you have seen people abusing language to distort meaning, to impress, to pretend to be knowledgeable, to appear intelligent, then you might crack up like we did. Language can be a powerful tool to confuse people, be in in Barnum effect or in manipulative language.
3 thoughts on “How to Teach a New Age Class by Throwing Around Meaningless Buzzwords (Humor)”
Impressing stuff Dude….I think the step you followed for educate a New Age Class by Throwing around worthless catchphrase is truly outstanding. Thanks for that awesome 🙂
It has been said that it is not possible to distinguish between extremist/crazy ideology and a parody of it. If I made a joke using some of these new age terms, it would be very difficult to tell it apart from the real thing. I can’t take credit for this idea – I’m an atheist and discovered it from someone else’s work on religious discourse a while ago.
Ha ha! Very funny – and so true. I grew up with buzzwords such as those and, even as a child, I would make fun of them.