If mugging laws were like rape laws

Woman: I would like to report a mugging. Last year was drunk running around the street. I met a man who told me a sob story about her owing $1000 rent. He was very convincing. I felt so loving and caring that I just went with him to the ATM and gave him $1000. Now that I am sober, and after ruminating for a few months, I am sorry I gave the money and want to report this robbery. He deserves jail.

  • In a normal non-rape context, the receiving person might be asked to return the money. But never would he be jailed for robbery for accepting money from a lightly drunk stranger. Much less if she complained 6 months after the fact.

    This post is not meant to ridicule true victims of forcible rape. It is meant as a reminder that, unlike in muggers, those accused of rape are not guaranteed constitutional rights of due process.

    Alleged rapists are jailed based on unproven alccusations. Like Strauss-Kahn. This leads to suffering for the falsely accused. It also leads to waste of police time, and decreases the credibility of true victims of rape. It also encourages false accusations, see http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/

Officer: You are very brave for coming forward. If you were drunk and driving, you would be arrested, but since you were just drunk and stupid, you’re a poor helpless victim. What monster could have done this to you?

Woman: His name is Joe Smith.

Officer: Well, we will go to his place of employment and very loudly announce that he is under arrest for such a terrible crime. He will probably lose his job just due to the accusation. If he is well known, even though he has not yet been tried, we will plaster his face over all newspapers and news channels. Luckily our society is one which no longer believes that “innocent until proven guilty” hogwash, we now have a “let’s hang him just to be safe” approach to crime. He will probably receive death threats, abuse from strangers in public, and may even be forced to move over this allegation.

Woman: Wow, that is great for revenge. What about the trial?

Officer: Even though we have no evidence other than your accusation, we will charge him, as no further evidence is needed thanks to new laws. If he takes it to trial, he will probably spend 15 years in prison, and will be the brunt of abuse of other inmates. Most likely however, the 15 year sentence will scare him enough that he will plead out. He will be in prison for 4-10 years, then when he get out and be on a public registry. If he has children he may never see them again. He will forever be ridiculed by the public and in a sense be a pariah.

Woman: And if after he has spent 7 years in prison, you find out I lied?

Officer: The DA will probably not even file charges, unless there is clear proof you knowingly and maliciously falsely accused the person. This is almost impossible, because you filed charges 6 months after the crime.  If there is absolutely convincing proof, or your confession, you will have to pay a $150 fine. If you have bad luck, we will sentence you to a year probation. We will try to keep it quiet, otherwise other mugging victims may not come forward. He may or may not be released. It helps us if he’s not because now our D.A. and police department can run around and show everyone that we’re doing a great job getting another violent, misanthropic criminal off of the street. It’s win win for everyone, and if he complains about how his life is ruined, he should just man up and get over it.

Woman: Oh no! But what happens if I want to report another mugging after you find out I have been lying?

Officer: Thanks to mugging shield laws, it can never be brought up at trial, you can put as many men in prison as you like.

786279aWoman: Well, if that’s the case, then I want to report another mugging. Bob Johnson, the cab driver, had mugged me a few nights ago. I know that he had me arrested because I had taken the ride and didn’t have any money to pay him, but it was really because he mugged me.

Officer: We will drop all charges against you and arrest Bob Johnson immediately.

Woman: A year ago I reported a (real) robbery. I had been walking around in a bad neighborhood, flashing my money around and someone threatened me with a knife and took my money. Police officer Miller took my report and actually brought the case to trial. But Miller also also told me that it is unwise to walk around drunk flashing cash at night in a bad neighborhood. That is victim blaming.  What sort of world is this where a woman can’t even run around drunk flashing all of his cash and become a victim of unwanted attention?

Woman: I would like to report a mugging. Last year was drunk running around the street. I met a man who told me a sob story about her owing $1000 rent. He was very convincing. I felt so loving and caring that I just went with her to the ATM and gave her $1000. Now that I am sober, and after ruminating for a few months, I am sorry I gave the money and want to report this robbery. He deserves jail.

  • In  a normal non-rape context, the receiving person might be asked to return the money. But never would he be jailed for robbery for accepting money from a lightly drunk stranger. Much less if she complained 6 months after the fact.

Officer: You are very brave for coming forward. If you were drunk and driving, you would be arrested, but since you were just drunk and stupid, you’re a poor helpless victim. What monster could have done this to you?

Woman: His name is Joe Smith.

Officer: Well, we will go to his place of employment and very loudly announce that he is under arrest for such a terrible crime. He will probably lose his job just due to the accusation. If he is well known, even though he has not yet been tried, we will plaster his face over all newspapers and news channels. Luckily our society is one which no longer believes that "innocent until proven guilty" hogwash, we now have a "let’s hang him just to be safe" approach to crime. He will probably receive death threats, abuse from strangers in public, and may even be forced to move over this allegation.

Woman: Wow, that is great for revenge. What about the trial?

Officer: Even though we have no evidence other than your accusation, we will charge him, as no further evidence is needed thanks to new laws. If he takes it to trial, he will probably spend 15 years in prison, and will be the brunt of abuse of other inmates. Most likely however, the 15 year sentence will scare him enough that he will plead out. He will be in prison for 4-10 years, then when he get out and be on a public registry. If he has children he may never see them again. He will forever be ridiculed by the public and in a sense be a pariah.

Woman: And if after he has spent 7 years in prison, you find out I lied?

Officer: The DA will probably not even file charges, unless there is clear proof you knowingly and maliciously falsely accused the person. This is almost impossible, because you filed charges 6 months after the crime.  If there is absolutely convincing proof, or your confession, you will have to pay a $150 fine. If you have bad luck, we will sentence you to a year probation. We will try to keep it quiet, otherwise other mugging victims may not come forward. He may or may not be released. It helps us if he’s not because now our D.A. and police department can run around and show everyone that we’re doing a great job getting another violent, misanthropic criminal off of the street. It’s win win for everyone, and if he complains about how his life is ruined, he should just man up and get over it.

Woman: Oh no! But what happens if I want to report another mugging after you find out I have been lying?

Officer: Thanks to mugging shield laws, it can never be brought up at trial, you can put as many men in prison as you like.

786279aWoman: Well, if that’s the case, then I want to report another mugging. Bob Johnson, the cab driver, had mugged me a few nights ago. I know that he had me arrested because I had taken the ride and didn’t have any money to pay him, but it was really because he mugged me.

Officer: We will drop all charges against you and arrest Bob Johnson immediately.

Woman: A year ago I reported a (real) robbery. I had been walking around in a bad neighborhood, flashing my money around and someone threatened me with a knife and took my money. Police officer Miller took my report and actually brought the case to trial. But Miller also also told me that it is unwise to walk around drunk flashing cash at night in a bad neighborhood. That is victim blaming.  What sort of world is this where a woman can’t even run around drunk flashing all of his cash and become a victim of unwanted attention?

Woman: I would like to report a mugging. Last year was drunk running around the street. I met a man who told me a sob story about her owing $1000 rent. He was very convincing. I felt so loving and caring that I just went with her to the ATM and gave her $1000. Now that I am sober, and after ruminating for a few months, I am sorry I gave the money and want to report this robbery. He deserves jail.

  • In  a normal non-rape context, the receiving person might be asked to return the money. But never would he be jailed for robbery for accepting money from a lightly drunk stranger. Much less if she complained 6 months after the fact.

Officer: You are very brave for coming forward. If you were drunk and driving, you would be arrested, but since you were just drunk and stupid, you’re a poor helpless victim. What monster could have done this to you?

Woman: His name is Joe Smith.

Officer: Well, we will go to his place of employment and very loudly announce that he is under arrest for such a terrible crime. He will probably lose his job just due to the accusation. If he is well known, even though he has not yet been tried, we will plaster his face over all newspapers and news channels. Luckily our society is one which no longer believes that "innocent until proven guilty" hogwash, we now have a "let’s hang him just to be safe" approach to crime. He will probably receive death threats, abuse from strangers in public, and may even be forced to move over this allegation.

Woman: Wow, that is great for revenge. What about the trial?

Officer: Even though we have no evidence other than your accusation, we will charge him, as no further evidence is needed thanks to new laws. If he takes it to trial, he will probably spend 15 years in prison, and will be the brunt of abuse of other inmates. Most likely however, the 15 year sentence will scare him enough that he will plead out. He will be in prison for 4-10 years, then when he get out and be on a public registry. If he has children he may never see them again. He will forever be ridiculed by the public and in a sense be a pariah.

Woman: And if after he has spent 7 years in prison, you find out I lied?

Officer: The DA will probably not even file charges, unless there is clear proof you knowingly and maliciously falsely accused the person. This is almost impossible, because you filed charges 6 months after the crime.  If there is absolutely convincing proof, or your confession, you will have to pay a $150 fine. If you have bad luck, we will sentence you to a year probation. We will try to keep it quiet, otherwise other mugging victims may not come forward. He may or may not be released. It helps us if he’s not because now our D.A. and police department can run around and show everyone that we’re doing a great job getting another violent, misanthropic criminal off of the street. It’s win win for everyone, and if he complains about how his life is ruined, he should just man up and get over it.

Woman: Oh no! But what happens if I want to report another mugging after you find out I have been lying?

Officer: Thanks to mugging shield laws, it can never be brought up at trial, you can put as many men in prison as you like.

786279aWoman: Well, if that’s the case, then I want to report another mugging. Bob Johnson, the cab driver, had mugged me a few nights ago. I know that he had me arrested because I had taken the ride and didn’t have any money to pay him, but it was really because he mugged me.

Officer: We will drop all charges against you and arrest Bob Johnson immediately.

Woman: A year ago I reported a (real) robbery. I had been walking around in a bad neighborhood, flashing my money around and someone threatened me with a knife and took my money. Police officer Miller took my report and actually brought the case to trial. But Miller also also told me that it is unwise to walk around drunk flashing cash at night in a bad neighborhood. That is victim blaming.  What sort of world is this where a woman can’t even run around drunk flashing all of his cash and become a victim of unwanted attention?

Officer: We will bring disciplinary charges against officer Miller. He will be dismissed and officially publicly reprimanded by the governor and ridiculed by the press. Rights groups will also initiate “Reclaim the night” money-slut walks in gang area @2am. You don’t deserve to be told to leave our cash and Rolex at home, and don’t have to stay sober, to avoid being victimized.

  • This is in reference to the poor police officer who sparked the slut walks. He had recommended, as a precaution against rape, that women should use common sense and not walk around drunk in provocative clothing.

Statutory mugging (invalid consent)

Woman: Now I remember, 25 years ago, when I was 15, I bought a used bicycle from a neighborhood boy, John. I gave him 50 dollars for it. Can I also report him for mugging?

Officer: Of course, 15 year olds can not consent to buying bicycles. Therefore your consent is invalid and it was mugging. We will have him arrested immediately. If you can not convince a jury of the facts, then he will be released from jail after 6 months. Otherwise he will get 10 years or more.

Woman: After 3 months, still 15 years old, I sold the bike, at a profit, to another neighborhood boy, Frank, also 15 years old. Can Frank accuse me of mugging?

Officer: Don’t worry. You can accuse Frank of bike robbery. As a minor you are unable to consent to selling a bicycle. Men are always to blame. In California, there are no Romeo and Juliet laws that would exempt minors from engaging in minor exchanges and business dealings. You might get a small fine (because you are a woman), but he will go to prison for 10 years.

Woman: The same penalty as the guy who robbed me at knife point?

Officer: There is no difference if the neighborhood boy bought a bicycle from you or if he took it away from you forcibly.  This has been confirmed by our Vice President Joe Biden. Receiving money given voluntarily by a tipsy woman, selling a bicycle to a minor, or robbing at knife point, are all the same crime and carry the same penalty. There are even activists who think that physicians who perform emergency procedures in insensitive ways should be imprisoned.

All these laws are to make sure that not one single mugger goes unpunished. It is also to encourage reporting of muggings, even after 47 years. One in two women will be mugged in her life time. One in four will be mugged in college, the most dangerous place to be mugged.

The Obama administration requires Colleges to prosecute men accused of mugging and convict them by the preponderance of evidence criterion. This has reduced the underreporting of muggings.

As an unexpected side effect, it also reduced false rape accusations. It is actually easier and less embarrassing now to file a false mugging accusation to get even.

Woman: What if I just bought the man a drink, while I was drunk myself?

Officer: You were taken advantage of. It does not matter what dollar amount. Both the man who accepted the drink and the bartender are guilty of mugging.

Mugging pictures

Woman: My uncle Joe once filmed me, at 6 years of age, buying a tricycle in the toy store

Officer: You were robbed of your pocket money by an toy store sales person? A 6 year old can not consent to paying a tricycle. Worse, the crime was recorded on film? This is production of child mugging pornography. The punishment for production, possession or distribution of such photos is higher then the punishment for mugging itself.

This is to protect children from the child mugging photo industry, a multi billion illicit business that victimizes millions of children.

Baby’s  consent to unhealthy food

Woman: My mother was an alcoholic when she was pregnant with me. This is why I have nervous problems and suffer from seizures.

Officer: Well, you did not complain. So you consented to your mother’s alcohol habits while you were in the womb.

Woman: During the first 8 years of my life, my mother gave me only hamburgers and french fries and never let me play outside. This is why I weigh 300 pounds, have diabetes and had 3 heart attacks.

Officer: Did you fight your mother? Refuse the fries? Obviously you consented, when you were 4 years old, so there is no legal problem.

Credits

This is a modified version of A much more accurate rape analogy which  was (negatively) inspired by this and this. The red text is solely ours, the black text is taken from the valued reddit post.

Officer: We will bring disciplinary charges against officer Miller. He will be dismissed and officially publicly reprimanded by the governor and ridiculed by the press. Rights groups will also initiate "Reclaim the night" money-slut walks in gang area @2am. You don’t deserve to be told to leave our cash and Rolex at home, and don’t have to stay sober, to avoid being victimized.

  • This is in reference to the poor police officer who sparked the slut walks. He had recommended, as a precaution against rape, that women should use common sense and not walk around drunk in provocative clothing.

Statutory mugging (invalid consent)

Woman: Now I remember, 25 years ago, when I was 15, I bought a used bicycle from a neighborhood boy, John. I gave him 50 dollars for it. Can I also report him for mugging?

Officer: Of course, 15 year olds can not consent to buying bicycles. Therefore your consent is invalid and it was mugging. We will have him arrested immediately. If you can not convince a jury of the facts, then he will be released from jail after 6 months. Otherwise he will get 10 years or more.

Woman: After 3 months, still 15 years old, I sold the bike, at a profit, to another neighborhood boy, Frank, also 15 years old. Can Frank accuse me of mugging?

Officer: Don’t worry. You can accuse Frank of bike robbery. As a minor you are unable to consent to selling a bicycle. Men are always to blame. In California, there are no Romeo and Juliet laws that would exempt minors from engaging in minor exchanges and business dealings. You might get a small fine (because you are a woman), but he will go to prison for 10 years.

Woman: The same penalty as the guy who robbed me at knife point?

Officer: There is no difference if the neighborhood boy bought a bicycle from you or if he took it away from you forcibly.  This has been confirmed by our Vice President Joe Biden. Receiving money given voluntarily by a tipsy woman, selling a bicycle to a minor, or robbing at knife point, are all the same crime and carry the same penalty. There are even activists who think that physicians who perform emergency procedures in insensitive ways should be imprisoned.

All these laws are to make sure that not one single mugger goes unpunished. It is also to encourage reporting of muggings, even after 47 years. One in two women will be mugged in her life time. One in four will be mugged in college, the most dangerous place to be mugged.

The Obama administration requires Colleges to prosecute men accused of mugging and convict them by the preponderance of evidence criterion. This has reduced the underreporting of muggings.

As an unexpected side effect, it also reduced false rape accusations. It is actually easier and less embarrassing now to file a false mugging accusation to get even.

Woman: What if I just bought the man a drink, while I was drunk myself?

Officer: You were taken advantage of. It does not matter what dollar amount. Both the man who accepted the drink and the bartender are guilty of mugging. 

Mugging pictures

Woman: My uncle Joe once filmed me, at 6 years of age, buying a tricycle in the toy store

Officer: You were robbed of your pocket money by an toy store sales person? A 6 year old can not consent to paying a tricycle. Worse, the crime was recorded on film? This is production of child mugging pornography. The punishment for production, possession or distribution of such photos is higher then the punishment for mugging itself.

This is to protect children from the child mugging photo industry, a multi billion illicit business that victimizes millions of children.

Baby’s  consent to unhealthy food

Woman: My mother was an alcoholic when she was pregnant with me. This is why I have nervous problems and suffer from seizures.

Officer: Well, you did not complain. So you consented to your mother’s alcohol habits while you were in the womb.

Woman: During the first 8 years of my life, my mother gave me only hamburgers and french fries and never let me play outside. This is why I weigh 300 pounds, have diabetes and had 3 heart attacks.

Officer: Did you fight your mother? Refuse the fries? Obviously you consented, when you were 4 years old, so there is no legal problem.

Credits

This is a modified version of A much more accurate rape analogy which  was (negatively) inspired by this and this. The red text is solely ours, the black text is taken from the valued reddit post.

Officer: We will bring disciplinary charges against officer Miller. He will be dismissed and officially publicly reprimanded by the governor and ridiculed by the press. Rights groups will also initiate "Reclaim the night" money-slut walks in gang area @2am. You don’t deserve to be told to leave our cash and Rolex at home, and don’t have to stay sober, to avoid being victimized.

  • This is in reference to the poor police officer who sparked the slut walks. He had recommended, as a precaution against rape, that women should use common sense and not walk around drunk in provocative clothing.

Statutory mugging (invalid consent)

Woman: Now I remember, 25 years ago, when I was 15, I bought a used bicycle from a neighborhood boy, John. I gave him 50 dollars for it. Can I also report him for mugging?

Officer: Of course, 15 year olds can not consent to buying bicycles. Therefore your consent is invalid and it was mugging. We will have him arrested immediately. If you can not convince a jury of the facts, then he will be released from jail after 6 months. Otherwise he will get 10 years or more.

Woman: After 3 months, still 15 years old, I sold the bike, at a profit, to another neighborhood boy, Frank, also 15 years old. Can Frank accuse me of mugging?

Officer: Don’t worry. You can accuse Frank of bike robbery. As a minor you are unable to consent to selling a bicycle. Men are always to blame. In California, there are no Romeo and Juliet laws that would exempt minors from engaging in minor exchanges and business dealings. You might get a small fine (because you are a woman), but he will go to prison for 10 years.

Woman: The same penalty as the guy who robbed me at knife point?

Officer: There is no difference if the neighborhood boy bought a bicycle from you or if he took it away from you forcibly.  This has been confirmed by our Vice President Joe Biden. Receiving money given voluntarily by a tipsy woman, selling a bicycle to a minor, or robbing at knife point, are all the same crime and carry the same penalty. There are even activists who think that physicians who perform emergency procedures in insensitive ways should be imprisoned.

All these laws are to make sure that not one single mugger goes unpunished. It is also to encourage reporting of muggings, even after 47 years. One in two women will be mugged in her life time. One in four will be mugged in college, the most dangerous place to be mugged.

The Obama administration requires Colleges to prosecute men accused of mugging and convict them by the preponderance of evidence criterion. This has reduced the underreporting of muggings.

As an unexpected side effect, it also reduced false rape accusations. It is actually easier and less embarrassing now to file a false mugging accusation to get even.

Woman: What if I just bought the man a drink, while I was drunk myself?

Officer: You were taken advantage of. It does not matter what dollar amount. Both the man who accepted the drink and the bartender are guilty of mugging. 

Mugging pictures

Woman: My uncle Joe once filmed me, at 6 years of age, buying a tricycle in the toy store

Officer: You were robbed of your pocket money by an toy store sales person? A 6 year old can not consent to paying a tricycle. Worse, the crime was recorded on film? This is production of child mugging pornography. The punishment for production, possession or distribution of such photos is higher then the punishment for mugging itself.

This is to protect children from the child mugging photo industry, a multi billion illicit business that victimizes millions of children.

Baby’s  consent to unhealthy food

Woman: My mother was an alcoholic when she was pregnant with me. This is why I have nervous problems and suffer from seizures.

Officer: Well, you did not complain. So you consented to your mother’s alcohol habits while you were in the womb.

Woman: During the first 8 years of my life, my mother gave me only hamburgers and french fries and never let me play outside. This is why I weigh 300 pounds, have diabetes and had 3 heart attacks.

Officer: Did you fight your mother? Refuse the fries? Obviously you consented, when you were 4 years old, so there is no legal problem.

Credits

This is a modified version of A much more accurate rape analogy which  was (negatively) inspired by this and this. The red text is solely ours, the black text is taken from the valued reddit post.

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